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What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls outs

What the difference between What's the difference between a chick pea and lentil?

I've never paid to have a lentil on me!

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night?

Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher?

Because he was Haydn.

Why can't geometry teachers tell good jokes?

They go off on tangents.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

Why is a train a bad person to go to the bar with?

Because all he says is "Chug Chug Chug"

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train?

A laplander!

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor.".