Conductor Jokes

What job do you never stop training for?

Conductor

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What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

Why are trains so energetic?

They have Conductors.

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Ohm Jokes More Ohm Jokes

What do electricians say when they meditate?

Ohm...

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why was Jared Fogle upset?

Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison.

Where are you at?

Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

When does a hunger strike stop?

When hunger strikes.

What kind of fence goes on strike?

A picket fence.

Loco Motive Jokes More Loco Motive Jokes

Why did the Mexican guy rob a train?

He had a loco motive.

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver!

Member Jokes More Member Jokes

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first.

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Slack Jokes More Slack Jokes

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some Irish tunes)

How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground?

He felt the slack in his dog's leash.