Conductor Jokes

What job do you never stop training for?

Conductor

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What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

Why are trains so energetic?

They have Conductors.

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Because they have rubbers on their end.

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Family practice

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The episode.

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Deleted

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You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

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How do you feel now?

Me: With my elbows

Where does a burger feel at home?

On the range!

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How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

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Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

What's the difference between a drummer and shoes in a dryer?

Nothing.

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Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?

He was a bad conductor.

Why was the bullet train behind schedule?

Because it had a bad conductor.

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Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits