What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean?

I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere.

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How much does a midget stripper with three kids get paid?

Mini-mom wage.

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

What did the vegan Neanderthal say when walking in to the woman's bathroom?

Chickpea

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face.

What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.