What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

It was 2 tired...

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I'm staunchly pro-volone.

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After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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Christmas music will still be playing next year.

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What are bananas high in?

Trees!

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

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Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

What's the definition of a healthy virgin?

"One who has never been bed-ridden!"

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Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?

Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.

Why did Michael Bay jump off a bridge?

Cause Tony Scott did it first.

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