What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender?

About ten minutes.

How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer?

The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea?

I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo on my face.

Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?

They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

What did the pulse say to the legume as he left?

Lentil next time.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my chest.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How can I face the problem?

When my problem is my face!

Whats the worst joke you can play on an American?

Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.