What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac?

One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

I don't know." "So you're the one!"

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners...

What did the man say when he walked into a bar?

Ouch!

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

Why are colds such bad robbers?

Because they're so easy to catch!

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call an alcoholic with Parkinson's?

Shakespeare (say it out loud)

Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

What do you call Murayan Sukumaran's new wife?

A necrophiliac.

Morgue Jokes More Morgue Jokes

Why are all these people dead on the inside?

Sir, this is a morgue.

Where's the best place to do a mannequin challenge?

In a morgue.