What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses!

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's crunchy on the outside and airy in the inside?

A lightbulb.

What's white on the outside, black on the inside and soon to be orange all over?

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes?

That he has a sense of tumor (Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)

Joan Rivers Jokes More Joan Rivers Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

What did Joan Rivers say to God when she arrived?

Get a new robe!