Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Previous Random Joke Next

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

Who won the animal race?

The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What u call a black woman with 7 abortions?

Crimefighter

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas?

By spending a large fortune.

Conceive Jokes More Conceive Jokes

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.