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Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They are both empty from the neck up.

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Conceive Jokes More Conceive Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.