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Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common?

Cold turkey

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many times we need to tell you that she died?

Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.

Why did the chemist die?

He ate a Pb and J sandwich.

December 25th Jokes More December 25th Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

What did the ghost say on December 25th?

Scary Christmas!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Who's there! Cannelloni! Cannelloni who?

Cannelloni some money till next week

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Rudolph Jokes More Rudolph Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.