Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did Siegfried and Roy close their bakery?

A batch of Tiger bread turned on them.

What did one hotdog stand say to the other hotdog stand?

Eyyyy, Garry, didn't know you turned into a hotdog stand too! Eyyyy!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think of wearing a straight jacket?

I think I could pull it off

Why aren't there any B batteries?

Because people might think you have a stutter.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking

What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?

Not knowing how to use a coathanger...

God Jokes More God Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Why did god invent whiskey?

X-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

Neurologist Jokes More Neurologist Jokes

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away?

A Fraudian slip.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.