Canadian Jokes

What's a Canadian's favorite number?

Eight.

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How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1 (Sorry)

What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug?

Niagara Falls, Viagra rises.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do Canadians say after a prayer in church?

Eh-men

What do you call a Canadian rap group?

Poutine Clan

What's a Canadian's favourite weapon?

An Eh k-47

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

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What did the Canadian Reddit user say?

Ehhhhh

What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

Justin Bieber

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

Canuck-chucks.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

More moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes?

Eh.

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English?

Sorry, eh.

What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?

The canoe tips.

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

Who's sorry now?

First question on Canadian citizenship exam

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?

A poutine.

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Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

How do you spell relief?

F-A-R-T

Shoot Range Jokes More Shoot Range Jokes

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

New Yorker Jokes More New Yorker Jokes

What are all those wires?

My wireless internet." (New Yorker cartoon ideas)

Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank?

He wanted to wake up oily.

Usd Jokes More Usd Jokes

Why USD erected so fast?

Why falling US$ erected so fast after GFC

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.

What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?

Hobos

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are blondes hurt by people's words?

Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

What's the most annoying thing in the internet?

People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.

Canadian Dollar Jokes More Canadian Dollar Jokes

What does an American call a Canadian Dollar?

A quarter.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why was Jared Fogle upset?

Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison.

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!