Deez Nuts Jokes

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

Deez nuts.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

Deez nuts

What do you call obnoxious almonds?

DEEZ NUTS!!! HA! GOT EEM!

What do you get when you click to see the punchline?

DEEZ NUTS

Why is C afraid of D?

Because DEEZ NUTS!

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Why is it Bees Knees, Why not Bees Nuts?

Deez nuts)

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They have their own bees knees.

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Where's Frank?

Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now.

Who's there CD CD who?

C DEEZ NUTS *ha* *Got* *em*

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What did the Spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

Where is my essay?

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Why is Santa Claus always a man?

Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

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What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

Why was the leaf hanged?

For tree-son. Ha-ha. Ha.

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What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What do you call the fear of chainsaws?

Common Sense.

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What do you call a little Spanish girl that searches for Redditors?

Fedora the explorer.

Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains?

He had loco motives.

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What do you get from a frozen zombie?

Frost bite. D