Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Road Jokes More Road Jokes

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

What's the difference between a normal ambulance and a skydiving ambulance?

Well, a normal ambulance is usually a van with a stretcher in the back. A skydiving ambulance A bucket and a shovel.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

How did Magic Johnson get Aids?

By using his Magic Johnson.

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain?

She's almost as smart as a man.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Delete Jokes More Delete Jokes

What do you call a subreddit that sanctions free speech?

Deleted

How do you know an r/jokes mod is a cyberman?

Deleted

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Who will take the second shot in this pool game?

Find out after the break.

Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom?

Because he couldn't find a Date!