Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful?

Because he has a magical staff.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

Where am I?

Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Why was Avogadro executed?

He was a mole

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost