Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull!

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What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

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Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why was Avogadro executed?

He was a mole

Why did the servant of the Airplane King get executed?

He was not Boeing.

Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?

Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.

Why couldn't Mark think of a dad joke?

Mark is black.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times?

Because they live under Iraq.

Who busted you out of Iraq?

Well actually, I-ran

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!