Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull!

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

What's harder to pull out of than Iraq?

Bristol Palin.

How do the people of northern Iraq manage to get so much done?

The Kurds have their ways

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar?

Because the door was ajar!

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.

Why was Avogadro executed?

He was a mole

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.