A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten ants!

Why are hands so important?

You always need them for thumb finger another.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

Ok you 2 dont start anything

What does Light Yagami drink at the bar?

Tekira!

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either