Grease Jokes

What do Thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

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Where were the first French fries made?

In grease

What were Tarzan's last words?

WHO GREASED THE VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE.

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?

Only one if you run him through slowly!

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Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What do Thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare (air) mail.

Intention Jokes More Intention Jokes

What's the difference between a pedant and a sadist?

A sadist is honest about his intentions. That probably wasn't funny, but what do I know?

What are your intentions?

Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating." ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years."

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What did the Italian say when 6 curses were removed from him?

Hexagon.

How do you get a one armed Italian out of a tree?

You talk to him!

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What does a lawyer wear to work?

A law-suit

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Combine Jokes More Combine Jokes

What do you get when you combine Soccer and Baseball?

Golbat.

What do you get when you combine Bromine with Barium?

Breaking Bad

French Jokes More French Jokes

What did the French chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Looks like we have debris all over the place

Why did the French man put a bomb on his kitchen floor?

Because he wanted to see Linoleum Blownapart.