Hellen Jokes

Why can't Hellen Keller drive?

Because she is a woman

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Why shouldn't Hellen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

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Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

Why did the Hipster burn his lip?

He drank coffee before it was cool.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What dogs never get lost?

Newfound-lands!

What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?

Someone's losing a trailer.

Braille Jokes More Braille Jokes

What's the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille?

Danger: Do not touch

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..?

Because he Kant drive Immanuel.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there I'm shore you did, beach.