Humour Jokes

Why don't Germans like humour?

Because it's inefficient!

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Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.

Where would we be in the world without humour?

Germany.

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why was the phone busy all night?

Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!

Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Profession Jokes More Profession Jokes

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fish!

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

Absolutely Sense Jokes More Absolutely Sense Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do mountains make people laugh?

Because they're hill-areas!

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 20 beers!!

What's the difference between a Republican and a Democrat?

How much damage can their Weiner make...