Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

Optician Jokes More Optician Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician?

Because he didn't C#

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case?

Because pipe clock would have just been stupid.

Why does the boss put clocks under employee's desk?

Because he wanted them to work over-time

Highway Jokes More Highway Jokes

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

Rely Jokes More Rely Jokes

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar?

He shreds.

How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends on how thick you slice 'em.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head?

An Easter bunnet!

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!