Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Politic Jokes More Politic Jokes

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

Why couldn't the Dali Lama go out and play with his friends?

Because he was grounded.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.

Where is it?

ME: I have no idea

Rely Jokes More Rely Jokes

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

India Jokes More India Jokes

What do they call divorce in India?

Re-arranged marriage

Why do businesses move to India?

Because they worship prophets!

Optician Jokes More Optician Jokes

Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician?

Because he didn't C#

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.