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Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

A rhetorical answer

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

Me: i have no idea what he's for

Nigerian Jokes More Nigerian Jokes

What did one Nigerian Prince say to the other?

Wanna go phishing

Why was the Nigerian toddler crying?

He was going through mid life crisis.

India Jokes More India Jokes

Why do businesses move to India?

Because they worship prophets!

What do you call a valet from India?

Mahatma Coat

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We're both lawyers.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

Bow Jokes More Bow Jokes

What do you call a Pirate who lost his anchor?

Can't anchor us" /bow.. this is as clever as i get, people.. so sorry.

What is the outside of a tree called?

Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow.