Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them.

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does 007 wear on his head?

A Bondana.

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why don't jokes in base 8 work?

Because 7 10 11

What to hear a joke?

Women's Sports.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you call a donkey throwing nuts?

An astronaut.

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

Politic Jokes More Politic Jokes

Which duck will destroy the establishment?

None, ducks are not allowed in politics.

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

Urine-nation!

Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

Ussr Jokes More Ussr Jokes

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist

Why did the USSR have such a bad air force?

They kept Stalin.