Kneel Jokes

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President Jokes More President Jokes

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

What does Hillary's emails and a racist post have in common?

Removed

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What lives in the ocean is grouchy and hates neighbours?

A hermit crab!

Why do hipsters hate ice skating?

They could never do it before it was cool

Desk Jokes More Desk Jokes

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

National Anthem Jokes More National Anthem Jokes

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

Oh secant, you say

What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?

Play ball.

7 Jokes More 7 Jokes

Why did Windows skip 9?

Because 7 ate 9.

How is Snow White?

Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What does an Arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long?

Polaroids.

Whos the funniest Disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

Monica Jokes More Monica Jokes