Linux Jokes

What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal?

DIR

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What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

Vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

What OS does an atheist run on their computer?

Fedora. For Linux n00bs(https://getfedora.org/)

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall?

Dam!

What did the gamer say to the fleeing prisoner?

Run! escape!

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What do you call two guys above a window?

Kurt and Rod

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What would you guys like to ask an American?

Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?

Coagulations!

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell?

A crustacean

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?

A big mac.

Select Jokes More Select Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

How do the Chinese select their baby names?

They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

What do you call a fedora wearing neck beard president's wife?

First M'lady

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.