April Sale - 20% Off

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Previous Random Joke Next
Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband?

Because he was driving her buggy.

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

Emit Jokes More Emit Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food?

Frito Layser.

Lawn Mower Jokes More Lawn Mower Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Half Time Jokes More Half Time Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.