How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

How do you know that Hindu woman is into you?

Her diode starts flashing green.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the relationship between two parallel lines never worked out?

It never worked out because they never met

How did it work?

We haven't spoken for five years".

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How did my operation go Doc?

Dr What Dr Omg I've only got half a colon

What do you call a half-white and half-Hispanic baby?

A baby.

Emit Jokes More Emit Jokes

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

Log log log log log log log log log...

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Lawn Mower Jokes More Lawn Mower Jokes

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Half Time Jokes More Half Time Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.