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How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happened to the magical tractor?

It turned into a field

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

He drove people bananas!

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Tank Jokes More Tank Jokes

Why did Mike Dukakis lose the 1998 Presidential election?

He TANKED his campaign!

Where does the army keep fish?

In a tank.