How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

This joke may have profanity.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why can't redheads get drunk?

Because they only drink Ginger Ale.

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What stopped winter for coming?

Cuz Winterfell and it can't get up!

Why did I stop reading M.C Escher books on the bus?

Because I always get weird stairs

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why should you only invite gas molecules to your house when they have negligible intermolecular forces between them?

Because they're the ideal gas.

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

Mormon Jokes More Mormon Jokes

What's the most confusing day in a Mormon home?

Mother's Day.

Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing?

Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer