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How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why did the elk cry at the funeral?

He had lost a deer friend

Why was the strawberry crying?

Because it's mom was in a real jam.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

Where should we look to stem global overpopulation?

The youth in Asia.....

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In a mirror.

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

React Jokes More React Jokes

Why is Kristen Stewart safe from the Fine Brothers?

Because she has no facial expressions so can't react.

How did the townspeople react when the mayor presented them with a cost efficient, vegan protein source?

They chia'd.