What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?

Wave at him

How much does automail cost?

An arm and a leg.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in French...... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;))

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Who's there! Census! Census who?

Census presents for Christmas!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?

Cross mouse cards!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?

V=6-RfZDiayDI

What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm?

Girl: Apollo neck jumpers

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!