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What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

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Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?

Her batteries were dead.

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

End Jokes More End Jokes

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What hat does a Mexican wear to a funeral?

A somber-ero.

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

End Day Jokes More End Day Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.