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What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

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What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

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When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

What do call an old man that asks questions?

Pop Quiz

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Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

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What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.

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How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

Where do I see myself in 5 years?

May 2019. Next question.

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What does the Pope dip his chips in?

Holy Guacamole

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.