What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What's 50 Cent's new name?

50 Drachma.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

What is the difference between a Garbanzo bean and a Chickpea?

I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean...?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

What did the pulse say to the legume as he left?

Lentil next time.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.