What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a lawyer?

Some adults like lawyers.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to shoot him if he does it wrong.

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs?

He was shot in the face.

Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors?

Because they all shot pilots.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

Who says Republicans aren't into recycling?

Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why would John F. Kennedy make a horrible boxer?

Because he can't take a shot to the head.

Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

Russian President Jokes More Russian President Jokes

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries?

Putine...