What would u do if u won the lotto?

10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why do artists never win when they play football?

They keep drawing!

What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics?

Not being disabled.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Where did Capt. Hook buy his prosthesis?

A. At a secondhand store.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

What do monkeys and humans have in common?

Catholic: Nothing............ nothing at all.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why did u shoot ur wife?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

10yo Jokes More 10yo Jokes

What would u do if u won the lotto?

10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.

What the hell is albatrout?

That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But... 10yo: ALBATROUT