What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Why thank u.. are u single?

She:No, I'm a dentist

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Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

What do you call a duck that likes to steal?

A Robber Ducky!

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What did Bill Cosby say when he was asked about the child abuse claims?

Kids say the darnedest things.

What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury.

Why was the potato chip angry?

Because he was salty

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why did the blond get fired from the M&ampM factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.