Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives?

Because they'll worship the ground you walk on.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious.

Why is a woman like a KFC?

After your done with the thighs and breasts all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the square (root) of a (onion)???

Shallots

Whats 19x17?

36 -Thats not even close!! -But it was quick.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

What kind of house is easiest to pick up?

A light house.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call it when an ex pees on you?

EX-STREAM!

How's your narcissism?

Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"