Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep?

Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?

They're two Maine streams.

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a diamond player and a master player in League of Legends?

About 1400 dollars

Whats the difference between Yoghurt and the USA?

Yoghurt has a culture.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car?

Because he got tired.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.