When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

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Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why can't Kylie Jenner see her mom?

Because she's trans-parent

How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Their parents will do it for them.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

How many kids do you think Wolverine has?

Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

Why are you divorcing her?

Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody." J "You get half her stuff." *air guitar solo*

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

Second Floor Jokes More Second Floor Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

What do you call it when a sewer collapses on itself?

Sewercide

Hoarder Jokes More Hoarder Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind