Second Floor Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What do you get if you push a piano down a mine?

A flat miner

What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes!

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

Hoarder Jokes More Hoarder Jokes

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)

Robber Jokes More Robber Jokes

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?

He called the piano tuna!

Whats's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.