Second Floor Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

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Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?

His mom got soul custody.

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!

What was the demon arrested for?

Possession.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

Flat Minor Jokes More Flat Minor Jokes

What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord?

A flat minor

What happens when you drop a piano in a mine?

A Flat Minor

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.