Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What's a Jackhammer's Best Friend?

Cast Steel! Bahahahahah! You know! Cause it has a poor dampening value it vibrates so much! They um. They both vibrate. Well ok. One vibrates, the other reciprocates. That's kinda... Hehe. Heh. Reciprocate my humor damn it!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What do you call a piece of fruit that can fly?

A pearrot

What did the pianist do when someone smashed his piano?

He played many more pieces.

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock?.. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky?..A brown stick

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

How's the fruit?

Just peachy.

How do you make a fruit cordial?

Be nice to him.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals