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Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes "Damn!" A bad skydiver goes "Damn!"

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?

They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the cake say to the knife?

You want a piece of me!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

Why did the lemon go sour?

Because it had Lemon-Aids

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

What fruit can't get married?

CANTELOPE

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

My zipper

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals