Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?

Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What does every "Tickle Me Elmo" get before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

Why don't you?

Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did italy cross the road?

To switch sides

Why did the stoner cross the road?

Who else would follow a chicken

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out tide.

Mattress Jokes More Mattress Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.