Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

It always had some sort of weed on it!

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why couldn't the melon couple run off and get married?

Because they can't elope.

What's cold and always runs from a fight?

Coward ice.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one