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Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How is she?

Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical". Me: "Oh, you get used to that...".

How do you make a song better using cement?

By remixing it.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant?

When you ask them "2+2 is?":

Why dad?

He asks. Because my arm is getting tired

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.