Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

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Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie?

I'll be Bach.

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How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup

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How did Jesus pay for our sins?

Pray-Pal

Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

3 Day Jokes More 3 Day Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

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When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

Respawn Jokes More Respawn Jokes

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn