Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

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What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar?

With a chihuahua pedal.

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Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

What do you call a jelly bear that died and came back?

A mummy bear

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What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

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Why did Jon Snow wait in line at the Apple store?

For the watch.

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

Q

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What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

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Why is Whitney Houston good at video games?

One of her strong suits is HAAND EEEEEEEYYYEEEE coordination.

What's w/the ice pack?

12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache 12: Yes.

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Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.