3 Day Jokes

Why did Jesus drink wine at the last supper?

Because in 3 days, he would be a raisin

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How long does it take to drive across France?

3 days by panzer

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Why did Jon Snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days?

For the watch

Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

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Apple Store Jokes More Apple Store Jokes

Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed?

It doesn't have windows.

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...

Does that make you an iWitness?

Mother Day Jokes More Mother Day Jokes

What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day?

A booquet of flowers.

What's the most confusing day in a Mormon home?

Mother's Day.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy?

It was an ax-I-dent.

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking?

Because it would be a party fowl.

What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit?

He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.

Recover Jokes More Recover Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

How many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

We'll get on it next week

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

Because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

How did Jesus get so fit?

He did lots of cross fit

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What did Snoop say Dr. Dre while binge watching their favorite TV show?

Are you ready for the next episode?