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Why is a beer like a woman?

After you drink one you can't shut up or drive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Who makes a drinking sound like this *makes drinking sound*?

GEORGE GRASHINGTON!

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why does Wonder Woman fly?

Because she can't drive for sh*t.

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

How does an ethiopian open a beer?

With his ribs