Beautiful Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Northern Lights Jokes More Northern Lights Jokes

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

What did the monkeys say when they saw the Northern Lights?

Ooooooh, aaaaaah...

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Why did the cloud get $10M for having a fight?

He was the raining champion.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the difference between hard and light?

I can sleep with a light on.

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?

A dinosnore!

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe a joke about bones?

Humerus.97

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

Checkmate Jokes More Checkmate Jokes

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Who's there! Checkmate! Checkmate who?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

Why are dogs and engineers alike?

They both have intelligent eyes, but neither can talk properly.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid?

He was told not to play with his food.