Beautiful Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

The cold shoulder.

Beauty Jokes More Beauty Jokes

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

Why are spectators so happy with their jobs?

Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Lecture Jokes More Lecture Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

Beekeeper Jokes More Beekeeper Jokes

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

Alright, let's get down to beeswax!

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What do you do when a bird attacks you?

Duck.

Why did the duck leave the dancefloor?

He didn't want to get down on it.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance?

Voodoo like to dance with me '

Northern Lights Jokes More Northern Lights Jokes

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

What did the monkeys say when they saw the Northern Lights?

Ooooooh, aaaaaah...