Booze.
You invite two of them.
They know how to raise the roof.
Because nobody likes his company!
So they know where to stop shaving
Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
Bring two Mormons.
The all tend to be found enclosed within temples.
A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.
A Presbyterian is a Baptist who can read
Because you should never drink and derive.
Because they'll get sand in their schlitz.
Can I give you a lift
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!
Nun
A counter reformation.
The Amazon River actually has sails.
The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"