Bruce Willis Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

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Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles.

What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college?

Bison.

Dead People Jokes More Dead People Jokes

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.

Vengeance Jokes More Vengeance Jokes

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What's white and drips from the cloud?

The coming of the Lord.

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?

Run!

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

Bilbo Baggin Jokes More Bilbo Baggin Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Hard Jokes More Hard Jokes

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why did Frodo set his phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What's the quietest element?

A no-bell gas. Especially when the ringing noises Are-gon.