Duct Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How much for that babysitter?

Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water...

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Quack Jokes More Quack Jokes

When do you use duct tape on a duck?

When he's quacked.

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

Mmmmm Jokes More Mmmmm Jokes

What did the glue taste tester say?

Mmmmm.

What's the Best thing about Duct Tape?

It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

Run Gag Jokes More Run Gag Jokes

What do you call a running gag on crutches?

A lame joke.

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did the U.S. invade Panama?

Just Cause

Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth?

Cause it looked hotter than usual!

Bind Jokes More Bind Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

Quicksilver Jokes More Quicksilver Jokes

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

What is Captain America's shield made of?

Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of **Quicksilver**

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.