Hillary Supporter Jokes

What is the name of the event in which Hillary supporters move out of the US?

A start.

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How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None. cmon, they'd much rather be kept in the dark.

What do you call a Hillary supporter?

A journalist.

How can you tell a bernie sanders supporter from a hillary supporter?

There age

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

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Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you say to an art student with a job?

Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese

What do you call a Spanish matador who is not very good at his job?

I'd say he's fairly incapa.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What's the difference between golf and Lady Godiva?

One is a hunt on a course.

What's the instinctual response to a bad gym selfie?

A reflex of course.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse at a hospital?

She's the one with the dirty knees.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people.

How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Irrelevant, you will be assimilated!

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

What do you say when only the egg remains?

It's all ovum now

What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?

Anonagon.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it......take to change a light bulb?

0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.