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Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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What's green and yellow and can't fly?

Brazilian soccer players.

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

Potholder Jokes More Potholder Jokes

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

Why do they call "roach-clips", "roach-clips"?

Because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes.

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?

Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.

How do lesbian carpenters work?

No studs. All tongue in groove.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung?

A Guardian of the Galaxy

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?

He got the shakes instead.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?

Best vicious of the season

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

What did the five fingers say to the phallus?

FAP!!!