Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

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What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

Where do stoner cars store their weed?

In potholes.

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the see weed.

Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

Cake.

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?

Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.

When my wife got her tongue pierced I asked her why?

She said To enhanthe the thektual thimulation.

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

What does Michigan State football and Marijuana have in common?

They are both green and get smoked in bowls!

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why does a cow need a bell?

Because its horn doesn't work.

What do you call a snake that works in the government?

A civil serpent

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

How does the devil measure his drugs?

In pentagrams

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How do you pick up Mexican Girls?

Border Patrol.

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.