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Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

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What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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Share Jokes More Share Jokes

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share?

Shelfish

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it?

Irrelevant.

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What is the Italian postal motto?

We know where live, your family too!

What's innuendo?

It's Italian for "suppository".

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Roach Clip Jokes More Roach Clip Jokes

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken -rim shot-

Groove Jokes More Groove Jokes

How did the lesbian couple build their house?

Tongue and groove.

What is a lesbians favorite type of woodworking joint?

Tongue and groove

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?

Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.