Nutritionist Jokes

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

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What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

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Britain Jokes More Britain Jokes

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Dwayne Jokes More Dwayne Jokes

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why was the gunman on a diet?

Because he was still at large.

Why did the gray whale go on a diet?

Because he wasn't a Fin whale!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

FORE!

How many dubstep fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wuh-wuh-wuh-one.

O Jokes More O Jokes

What did the O say to the 8?

Nice belt.

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

System Jokes More System Jokes

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

When your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

Johnson Jokes More Johnson Jokes

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?

They all have phones.

Mineral Jokes More Mineral Jokes

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!